Secrets of the 2007 NFL Season
May 28, 2007 on 3:10 pm | In News | No Comments|
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By Jeffrey Boswell
??” Mike Nolan’s San Francisco 49ers remarkably win the NFC West, the NFL’s most balanced division, by a staggering four-game cushion. Even more remarkably, they win it with a 6-10 record.
??” In the second quarter of the season opener versus the Jets, the Patriots Tom Brady hits Randy Moss with a four-yard touchdown pass for the first of nine touchdown connections between the two on the year. Brady and Moss even become good friends off the field, as Brady and supermodel girlfriend Giselle Bundchen introduce Moss to Tyra Banks. The couples double-date often, and in late October, are spotted on the beach at Martha’s Vineyard, where Moss and Brady diagram a pass route on Banks’ spacious forehead.
??” Cincinnati receiver Chris Henry, serving jail time after being charged with larceny for stealing candy from a baby, nearly succeeds in a daring attempt to escape in a truck delivering laundry to an off-site facility. However, Henry’s escape is foiled when the drunk truck driver crashes into a utility pole while swerving to miss a motorcycle driven by a helmet-less Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who was visiting the correctional facility in order to scout the Bengals. Roethlisberger is unhurt, but Henry receives three consecutive lifetime suspensions.
??” Upon losing his appeal to his 16-game suspension for conduct detrimental to the league, the Titans’ Pacman Jones is further discouraged by the success of the reunion tour of his least-favorite musical artist of all-time, The Police.
??” Cleveland’s free agent acquisition Jamal Lewis rushes for 289 yards and two touchdowns on the season, less than the 295 and two TDs he rushed for against the Browns in his record-setting game in 2003.
??” At London’s Wembley Stadium on October 28th, the Dolphins shut out the Giants 15-0 behind five Olindo Mare field goals. The following day, in The Observer’s recap of the game, titled “Fish And Zips,” columnist Jamie Jackson decries the play in goal for the Giants, and wonders if a team has ever scored on five consecutive free kicks.
??” Chicago’s Terry “Tank” Johnson, after serving a four-game suspension for conduct detrimental to the NFL, vows never to run afoul of the law again. However, when Johnson promises to “unload” all his weapons, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell suspends him for four more games. After serving that suspension, Johnson pledges that he has learned his lesson, and proves it by having both arms amputated, making good on his promise to Goodell to never be armed again.
??” The half-time entertainment at Super Bowl XLII in Arizona features the return of Britney Spears in her first major concert in five years. Spears is joined on stage by R&B heartthrob Usher, and the two stun a Super Bowl and television audience when Usher rips off Spears silver lam?© chaps, revealing that Spears is still, in fact, bald.
??” Michael Vick, dogged by allegations that he was involved in a pit bull fighting scandal in his home state of Virginia, volunteers to do public service announcements condemning animal cruelty. Unfortunately, the ads, directed by Vick’s own production company, based in Smithfield, Virginia and supervised by one of his cousins, show Vick delivering the announcements from a bull fighting ring in Madrid, Spain and a cock fighting arena in Valle de Chalco, Mexico. An embarrassed Vick is admonished by the commissioner’s office, but the videos receive two thumbs up from the Redskins’ Clinton Portis and Chris Samuels.
??” After having failed yet another drug test, former Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams announces his retirement from football for good. “THC-ya,” says a tearful Williams, who admits that he has an uncontrollable addiction that has cost him dearly in his athletic endeavors. Williams says he regrets that his addiction has caused him to lose much of what he has worked for, but is happy to say that “luckily, you can fail a drug test and still maintain your subscription to High Times magazine, as well as appear on the cover on occasion, or in the personal ads.”
??” In the NFL’s season opener on September 6th, the Colts open defense of their Super Bowl championship with a 31-27 home loss to the Saints. The game makes history, not because of anything that happens on the field, but because Colts quarterback Peyton Manning appears in every single commercial aired during the broadcast.
??” The NFL Network, in an effort to capitalize on the reality show craze, premiers a program starring eight Cincinnati Bengals living under one roof. The show, titled The Legal Pad and hosted by attorney-turned-sex kitten “Legal Tender,” offers $50,000 to the last remaining Bengal who has successfully completed challenges such as “drunk drive home,” “conceal your weapon,” and “eat your marijuana” without being arrested.
??” Following a season of model behavior, Randy Moss finally drops the big one in the AFC Championship Game in Foxboro’s snow-covered Gillette Stadium when, after an 85-yard touchdown reception to open the scoring, the controversial receiver celebrates by making a “yellow snow angel” in the snow. No one is more offended than LaDainian Tomlinson of the visiting Chargers, who rushes for 145 yards on 32 carries and two touchdowns to lead San Diego to a 27-21 upset over the top-seeded Patriots. The Chargers avenge a Week 2 defeat, as well as last year’s home loss to the Pats in the AFC divisional playoffs. Two weeks later, San Diego beats Dallas 26-20 to win Super Bowl XLII.
??” In the wake of the Cardinals’ 0-4 start, Arizona president William Bidwell defends the team’s decision to fire Dennis Green after 2006’s 5-11 season. “Dennis Green is who we thought he was, and we let him off the hook!” comments an angry Bidwell, who then storms out of the press conference.
??” Minnesota running back Adrian Peterson is named the NFL’s Offensive Rookie of the Year, and dedicates the award to Calvin Johnson, noting that “without the ‘Matt Millen Curse,’ Johnson would have won the award easily.”
??” Proof that commissioner Roger Goodell’s new conduct policy is working, not a single player is arrested from September 1st through October 15th. Soon after, pigs fly, Hell freezes over, and New England coach Bill Belichick appears on the cover of GQ magazine’s fall fashion preview.
??” Despite the presence of offseason acquisitions Luke McCown and Jeff Garcia, Chris Simms easily wins the starting job at quarterback for the Buccaneers, and is praised by his teammates for his toughness. However, after practice one day in late August, Simms is caught dipping a bag of Bigelow tea into a mug of steaming hot water. Unaware that “teabagging” was taboo locker room behavior, Simms suffers the fate of an outcast, and is benched in favor of Garcia as starter in Week 7.
??” St. Louis’ Steven Jackson edges Baltimore’s Willis McGahee for the NFL rushing title by three yards, 1,501 to 1,498.
??” During the third quarter of NBC’s September 23rd broadcast of Sunday Night Football, Al Michaels and John Madden welcome the Geico cavemen to the booth, there to plug their new sitcom, Stone Age Wasteland, schedule to premiere the following Tuesday. Michaels and Madden briefly turn over the broadcast to the cavemen, and, surprisingly, they do a good job, with one offering some groundbreaking insight into the psyche of Terrell Owens. Things later get awkward when Madden admits that the Madden Cruiser is insured by Geico.
??” After Oakland quarterback Andrew Walter is sacked 16 times in the Raiders’ first five games, coach Lane Kiffin makes a change, inserting 6′6,” 255-pound JaMarcus Russell into the lineup, at left tackle.
Ukraine can earn over $1 bln and more on UEFA Euro-2012
May 17, 2007 on 2:54 pm | In News | No Comments|
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???The sum necessary for conducting Euro-2012 was estimated by the previous government and is very relative. According to preliminary calculations, by 2012, about $0.8 bln more are planned to be attracted for financing the world cup from the state and local budgets,??? deputy chair of the Ukrainian Supreme Rada, former chair of the Euro-2012 organizational committee in Ukraine Nikolai Tomenko said.
Answering question of a REGNUM correspondent on estimated gain from the championship, Tomenko noted: ???Ukraine can earn, say, $1 bln.??? At the same time, the official added that the data was preliminary. ???Ukraine can earn much more. As soon as the organizational committee for Euro-2012 is formed, special groups for economy and tourism start working, then it will be easier to give more certain predictions of profit,??? Tomenko noted.
Speaking on the bid, Nikolai Tomenko noted that ???Ukraine and Poland??™s presentation was much better than the ones by the rivals ??“ Italy, Croatia and Hungary.??? ???In particular, many prominent people participated in the bid: Andrei Shevchenko, Vitali Klitschko, Oleg Blokhin, Sergey Bubka, president of Poland and Ukraine also arrived,??? he said.
The official confessed: ???We had not expected such a result. Before it, there was a lot of pressure upon us in European press.???
Kuyt wants Man Utd in Euro final
May 2, 2007 on 9:46 am | In Football | No Comments|
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Liverpool hero Dirk Kuyt has set his sights on a “historic” Champions League final meeting with rivals Manchester United in Athens. Dutch striker Kuyt scored the decisive spot-kick as Liverpool beat Chelsea 4-1 on penalties in their semi-final.
He told BBC Sport: “AC Milan and Manchester United are two great teams and clubs.
“But a meeting between two big clubs from the Premiership in the Champions League final would be historic.”
Liverpool won their semi-final second leg clash at Anfield 1-0 thanks to Daniel Agger’s first-half strike.
With the tie finishing 1-1 on aggregate after extra-time it went down to penalties.
Kuyt scored the decisive spot-kick to put Liverpool through to a second Champions League final in three years.
The forward added: “It is fantastic for us to reach the Champions League final. There is no bigger game in European club football and to do it in my first season here is an amazing feeling.
“We felt we deserved to win after the 90 minutes and extra time. We were very strong and to see that last penalty go in was a great feeling.
“It is just fantastic for us. We had chances. I hit the post and had a goal disallowed, but we got there in the end and Pepe Reina was sensational for us in the penalty shoot-out.
“You come to clubs like Liverpool for nights like this.
“We wanted to do it for our fans as well because they were fantastic in the way they supported us.
“We have beaten some very strong teams to get to the final, like Barcelona, PSV Eindhoven and now Chelsea.
“It is not up to us who we play, Manchester United and AC Milan have to fight for their place, but certainly two English clubs playing each other would be history.
“Now we have to get ready for the final because we want to win it now. We have come this far so we want to win it and we think we can.
“We have shown we can win over two legs against the best sides, now it is down to one match.”
Benitez piles pressure on Chelsea
May 1, 2007 on 2:12 am | In Football | No Comments|
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Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez has turned up the heat on Chelsea and their boss Jose Mourinho for Tuesday’s Champions League semi-final. Benitez claims Mourinho’s team choices “cost him the league title” on Saturday and that Chelsea are now under massive pressure to be crowned kings of Europe.
Chelsea lead 1-0 from the first leg but Benitez said: “They will know that Anfield is a difficult place for them.
“And they know full well what pressure they are under to win things.”
Mourinho suggested last week that Liverpool had been playing testimonials in the Premiership for weeks because they have only one trophy to play for.
And Benitez was quick to hit back after Chelsea rested players and were held 2-2 by Bolton at the weekend.
He declared: “Now they have more difficulties in the Premiership, it’s clear if they are going to win a major trophy, the Champions League is the one they want to win.
“They try to win everything - that is enough pressure without me saying anything.
“They know the pressures they are under, you only have to ask Mr Abramovich what he wants, the Champions League or the Premier League. They know.”
Benitez also suggested that the self-styled ‘Special One’, Mourinho, is no match for the Anfield crowd. Two years ago, Liverpool were roared on to a 1-0 victory over Chelsea at Anfield in the Champions League semi-final second leg - and then they went on to lift the trophy in Istanbul.
And Benitez believes the supporters can be of assistance again.
“We have our special ones here, they are our fans, who always play with their hearts,” he stated.
“I remember before the game in 2005, the Chelsea players spoke a lot about being ready for the Anfield atmosphere but when the game was played they could not handle it.
“It’s very difficult for any opposing team to prepare to play against 12 men.
“Our fans cannot give red cards or award penalties but they can ’score goals’.
“I like this about our supporters because we know they will show they are in the best in the world again on Tuesday night.
“The players can also use these positive memories. I have confidence because playing with 12 men is a great advantage for us.
“It is no secret we will try to play with a high tempo from the beginning, something we didn’t do in the first leg. If we can keep a high tempo going for 90 minutes, that will be perfect.
“We did not play to our best level in the first leg, that is the key for me. If we play to our best, we will win.”
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